My Favorite Social Network is The Porch

My favorite social network is the porch.

I’ve tried to understand social media. I really have.

There are friends you’ve never met, followers who don’t follow you anywhere, and influencers who seem to make a living influencing people to buy things nobody knew they needed.

My favorite social network remains the front porch.

It doesn’t require a password. There are no software updates, pop-up advertisements, or terms of service written by seventy-three lawyers. Nobody collects your personal information unless you count the neighbor who already knows everything happening within three blocks.

The porch has a simple operating system: Pull up a chair, pour something cold, and talk.

You can discuss the weather, the government, the rising price of groceries, or why the fellow down the road needs three riding lawn mowers. If someone says something foolish, you don’t block him. You lean back, take another sip, and wait to see whether he can make it worse.

Usually, he can.

Porch conversations also come with natural fact-checkers. Say something inaccurate and somebody will remember exactly what happened, when it happened, and what you were wearing at the time. The internet may never forget, but neither does a neighbor who has known you for forty years.

Best of all, the porch permits thoughtful disagreement. We can argue without declaring each other enemies. We may disagree about politics, sports, or the proper way to cook a steak and still refill one another’s glasses.

That’s my kind of social network.

Pull up a chair.

The Old Curmudgeon

PS: Around here, the only cookies we accept come on a plate.