Why do psychics have to ask for your name?

Why do psychics have to ask for your name?

I have always been a little suspicious of psychics.

If you can see my future, communicate with my departed relatives, and sense the mysterious energy surrounding me, you ought to be able to figure out who made the appointment.

Instead, the first thing they ask is, “What is your name?”

That doesn’t inspire confidence.

A truly gifted psychic should answer the door before I knock, greet me by name, and tell me where I left my reading glasses. If she can do that last one, I’ll gladly pay double.

I’m also puzzled by psychic hotlines. If they already know I’m going to call, why don’t they call me first? It would save time. Better yet, they could tell me why I called because there’s a fair chance I’ll forget while waiting on hold.

Then there are the storefront signs advertising “Walk-ins Welcome.” Shouldn’t they say, “We knew you were coming”?

I don’t mean to dismiss the mysteries of the universe. There are plenty of things I can’t explain. I can’t explain why a fitted sheet refuses to fold properly, why the printer only runs out of ink during an emergency, or why the television remote disappears while I’m sitting perfectly still.

Perhaps psychic powers are real. Perhaps they aren’t. But if you want me to believe you can see beyond the boundaries of time and space, don’t begin by asking me to spell my last name.

The Old Curmudgeon

PS: If any psychics are offended by this, they should have seen it coming.