I Don’t Hold Grudges. I Archive Them

I don’t hold grudges. I archive them.

People occasionally accuse me of holding grudges.

That is completely inaccurate.

Holding a grudge sounds emotional, disorganized, and possibly unhealthy. I archive them. Everything is carefully filed by name, date, offense, witnesses, and whether a sincere apology was ever attempted.

I believe in forgiveness. Forgiveness is good for the soul and keeps the blood pressure from frightening the doctor. But forgiving someone doesn’t mean you have to delete the records. Even the government keeps paperwork longer than necessary, and nobody accuses it of being petty.

What About Tool Borrowers?

Suppose someone borrows a tool and returns it broken. You forgive him. Then he asks to borrow another tool. At that point, the archive becomes useful historical documentation. We are not living in the past. We are using past performance to guide future lending decisions.

Some offenses belong in permanent storage. Others can be downgraded after a few years of good behavior. Minor irritations may eventually be discarded, especially if I forget what happened or why I was annoyed in the first place.

That happens more often than I care to admit.

What if I Forget?

I may remember that I’m not speaking to someone, but I occasionally need a few minutes to recall the reason. This creates an awkward situation. Do I continue being offended on principle, or admit that my filing system isn’t what it used to be?

Usually, I settle for a suspicious look and move along.

The Old Curmudgeon

PS: I accept apologies. Please include the date and a brief description of the offense for proper filing.