Women Who Seek to Equal Men Lack Ambition

Women who seek to equal men lack ambition.

Women have spent generations demanding equal treatment, equal opportunity, and equal respect.

Fair enough. But I have one question: Why stop at equality?

Men have spent centuries starting wars, refusing to ask for directions, and insisting we can repair complicated machinery without reading the instructions. We will drive twenty miles in the wrong direction before admitting we might have missed a turn. Then we’ll blame the road sign.

We buy gadgets we don’t need, keep shirts that haven’t fit since 1997, and believe every household repair requires at least three trips to the hardware store. On the third trip, we usually buy the part our wife suggested during the first trip.

This is not exactly an intimidating standard.

Women already manage families, careers, schedules, appointments, birthdays, groceries, and the location of nearly every missing object in the house. A man can search a refrigerator for ten minutes and fail to find the mustard sitting directly in front of him. A woman walks over, moves one carton, and there it is.

We call this a miracle because admitting the truth would be embarrassing.

So, ladies, by all means demand equality under the law, in the workplace, and everywhere else it matters. But don’t let equality with men become the finish line. In many areas, you passed us years ago.

We were probably too busy arguing about which wrench to use to notice.

The Old Curmudgeon

PS: My wife reviewed this column and permitted me to keep most of it.