I Only Seem to Get Sick on the Weekends

I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.

My immune system apparently keeps the same schedule I wish I had. It shows up Monday morning, takes one look at the week ahead, and immediately calls in sick.

By Tuesday, it is complaining about the workload. On Wednesday, it starts watching the clock. Thursday is spent making weekend plans, and by Friday afternoon, it has mentally checked out altogether.

Then Saturday arrives, and suddenly I feel fine. My energy returns. My nose clears up. I am ready to tackle projects, run errands, and enjoy the day. Apparently, my immune system is willing to work weekends, but only if the work involves relaxing, eating snacks, and avoiding anything that resembles responsibility.

Come Monday morning, the sniffles return right on schedule. Doctors might call it a coincidence. Employers might call it suspicious. I prefer to think my body simply understands the importance of work-life balance.

Of course, this condition has no known cure. The only recommended treatment is two days of rest, followed by five days of complaining until the next weekend arrives.

R.G. Elliott